SM Death Inspired Exley Foundation - BDSM Safety Through Education

By now everyone has heard of the tragic death of Adrian Exley. He was a young man who enjoyed bondage and SM and met an untimely end in an accident. It was an accident that didn’t have to happen, but unfortunately a lack of proper precautions and simple common sense ended not only Adrian’s life but the life of the man he was playing with. Gary LeBlanc the man who invited Exley to visit for a weekend of bondage and SM committed suicide after finding Exley dead and trying to hide the body.

Some people could dismiss this whole incident as another example of how dangerous SM people are. They would seek any excuse to condemn a whole group of people because of the actions of just two men. It would be as illogical to condemn all white men because some of them cause car accidents. In that context it sounds silly, and it is. So let’s get beyond the blanket condemnations and look at what can be learned from this tragedy.

First, if you are going to engage in any kind of BDSM play, you should know the risks and be prepared to take precautions to avoid complications. For example, Exley sought a long term bondage scene in what we in the SM world might call mummification. It involves being wrapped in a constraining material, like plastic wrap and then covered in duct tape or other material to restrict almost all movement. Is that dangerous? It can be if the wrap is too tight, which might restrict breathing, or insufficient space is allowed for a clear airway, both nose and mouth.
Second, someone in bondage as extreme as mummification, cannot communicate as easily as someone just in restraints like handcuffs or shackles. People in extreme bondage need constant monitoring. Their breathing should be watched and they should be checked for overheating and dehydration. Many people give the person in bondage occasional sips of water from a straw and some even take their temperature just to make sure they do not succumb to any heat related problems.

Third, at the first signs of trouble, the person should be removed from bondage and if needed medical help sought.

All three of these precautions were mission in Adrian’s case. He was mummified or bound, hooded and given a straw to breathe through. Then he was left in a closet, unattended while Gary went to bed. The problem, a straw is not enough air to survive for long and not only do they collapse, but a closet fills with bad air in a short time.

Almost any experienced SM player will shiver at that set up, it is a recipe for disaster. The problem, a straw is not enough air to survive for long and not only do they collapse, but a closet fills with bad air in a short time. A person left unattended in bondage cannot signal if they are in trouble.

Education and personal responsibility are the lessons that can be learned from Adrian and Gary’s deaths. Taking more precautions and knowing the warning signs of a problem could have kept the scene from becoming fatal. In fact, it might have been a really fun weekend for both men had they just known and used the basic principals of safe, sane and consensual BDSM.
Adrian’s brother has set up a MySpace page in memory of his sibling. It is a small start, but it is my hope it will grow to spread the message of education and safety for BDSM enthusiasts. As the Education Chair of the National Leather Association International, I sincerely hope the Adrian Exley Foundation succeeds in its mission. I am lending my support and wish Adrian’s brother and family the best in their endeavor. Visit the page and see the progress they are making.

http://www.myspace.com/theadrianexleyfoundation