tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-106947452024-03-07T00:15:27.991-06:00Dungeon DiarySexuality, Sex and ActivismHardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.comBlogger3856125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-25785622883958814182014-03-21T09:04:00.001-05:002014-03-21T09:19:58.117-05:00Fred's Dead - Let the Hate Die With HimThe new media is awash with news of Fred “God Hates Fags” Phelps' death. The trending comments in social media pretty much run from vengeance to schadenfreude, but most miss the most interesting details of the events. It seems “Rev. Phelps” was no longer in charge of his “church”, Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka. There has been an apparent power struggle for control of the 50+ member congregation and during it Fred, the founder was excommunicated! Additionally, his outspoken daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper was also ousted from power. The news was broken by Nathan Phelps, one of the sons of Fred Phelps Sr. who left the church 37 years ago. <br />
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Seems Fred saw the rancor brewing in his flock and advocated a “kinder approach” to church dealings. Well, a church based on the premise that “God Hates (insert name here)”, would not be very accepting of that message. It wasn’t and thus Fred was OUT!<br /><br />
So considering the history of this hate-filled place, how am I reacting to the news of Phelps demise? Well, that is a source of some conflict.<br />
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Having come face to face with these folks on at least 3 occasions, I can say that once I filter out their incendiary rhetoric I have always felt pity for them, and then felt I needed to go home and take a scalding hot shower. It is hard to come face to face with hate. It is even worse to come in contact with a willful ignorance so deep that these people have managed to actually see a completely different world than the one in which we exist.<br />
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I believe the Phelps kids have been raised in what is essentially an isolated compound, cut off from anyone but their kin and others who carry their beliefs. They have so successfully insulated themselves that their world view is skewed in the extreme. They see a world of “sinners” condemned to burn in hell and the Westboro Baptist Church members who are “saved”. There are no shades of grey in their world, just black and white and most specifically those who condone homosexuality and those who condemn it. <br />
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The focus on homosexuality is where I have the most problem, obviously. From a few Bible verses in Leviticus and one dusty letter from Paul in Romans, these people have created an entire epistemology that filters reality and creates a world of fear and hate. More specifically, their view of God is far from the New Testament God of Jesus, and much closer to a psychopathic punishing entity whose only concern is dealing out death, destruction and suffering upon those He is displeased with. That is a sad world to live in.<br />
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The cynical side of me has often wondered if the Phelps family can actually believe in their own hatred or is it just a ploy to get attention and more specifically to draw the ire of folks who act out against them. They self-fund their church, and much of that income comes from law suits and settlements. Many of the family are lawyers like Phelps himself. Traveling to all those funerals and picket lines is not cheap.<br />
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Even if I assume their motives are “pure” it’s really hard for me to rejoice in the death of their father and founder. To face death knowing your legacy is one of being arguably the most reviled man in the country has to carry some gravitas. Worse still, Fred is now reviled by his family and former congregants and that has to be painful, even for someone who lived with constant burning hatred.<br />
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I guess much of the pity I feel is for a man who has steeped himself in hate so much that he hasn’t got much humanity left, and that is a tragedy. Phelps was once a Civil Rights attorney who fought the Jim Crow laws, so there is obviously a human being buried inside all that bile. <br />
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The other reason I find Phelps a pitiable figure, is the reason for his virulent anti-gay stance. His daughter, Lauren Drain in an interview with the Advocate Magazine comes very close to saying Fred had some kind of homosexual experience as a cadet at West Point that might have sparked his fire against gays. Though she doesn’t specifically spell it out she notes that “…something made him change his mind about the military, and in turn have kind of a crusade against sexual immorality and homosexuals.”<br />
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All speculation, but it certainly would fall in line with other rabid anti-gay crusaders who later turned out to be suffering from internalized homophobia. The most egregious case being George Rekers, former ex-gay therapy advocate and co-founder of the Family Research Council caught traveling with a “rent-boy” on a European vacation.<br />
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Whatever his reasons, Phelps must have been living in a state of constant agitation, and if he really believed that God was pouring his vengeance on the US, constant fear of being caught up in an apocalypse. Not a good place to live.<br />
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Worse still, for a man who claimed to preach the “word of God” it is sad that he apparently never listened to the words of Jesus. There is not one quote about homosexuality by Jesus, but a whole lot of specific warnings for straight folks about infidelity and divorce. Even more his ministry was about God’s grace and inclusion. <br />
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Not to get too preachy, but had Phelps spent more of his life concentrating on these messages and less on finding convoluted reasons to condemn people, he would undoubtedly be a happier man and perhaps the world would be a kinder place.<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-9250400296763773932014-03-09T17:03:00.000-05:002014-03-09T17:03:00.365-05:00The New Gay Panic - Anti Gay Bills Flood CountryAs LGBT America is in a panic over the flood of anti-gay bills that are bubbling through the state legislatures across the country, I urge you to be calm. <br />
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Calm? Am I mental? <br />
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Nope but I have found that by approaching the issue with a little composure I have a better idea of what is really going on. <br />
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First all of these bills are so flawed it's a wonder they were ever brought to a vote. The most recent one in Kansas was declared by the Senate President Susan Wage(R) as "too flawed to fix". She urged waitihg until next year to revisit the issue. So what exactly is the issue?<br />
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Well, if you take these bills at their face value, they are a license to discriminate against anyone whose behavior or lifestyle is somehow at odds with your religious belief. IN other words if you claim it's against your religion you can refuse service or housing or anything including fire protection,<br />
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medical care or whatever. Funny but I am hard pressed to find a religion or sacred text that condones that kind of behavior, but that's not my problem. <br />
The real issue in these bills is not one of religious "freedom" and contrary to what it seems I believe it is not to reinstate the "Jim Crow" laws of the 1950's. This whole coordinated effort, (and it is coordinated make no mistake), is designed to change the framing of the issue of "equality" and bend using pretzel logic into one of "religious freedom". <br />
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Why would anyone do that? <br />
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Well just look at the latest polls. American's are more and more comfortable with full equality for LGBT citizens including marriage and job discrimination. That is a pretty good sign that the Right-Wing is losing the culture war. In other words, the world is changing and the Right-Wing is upset because they see themselves going the way of the dinosaur. As the younger generation matures, a generation who grew up on Will and Grace and Queer as Folk and Ellen, they find it natural to view LGBT folks as pretty much not only no big deal, but pretty ordinary.<br />
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So imagine you are a fundamentalist or a Republican or both. You see the change catching up with you. You see the "arc of history" bending toward a justice you want nothing to do with. You might even be having a crisis of faith since the old "it's in the Bible so it's true, word for word" is just not working anymore.<br />
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More importantly, if you are a politician, you find your "go to" tactic of holding up a boogieman to frighten the faithful and raise money and votes. You have successfully used fear to line your coffers and get elected and now that there is less to be fearful of, well you need to put the fear back into your troops. What better way than play on that crisis of faith they are already sensing and tell them they won't be able to "believe" anymore. They won't be able to "practice their principals" which include being hateful and bigoted and that will put the fear of God in them for sure.<br />
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When people, even the religious right if they believe in freedom and equality, they will say of course they do. But when you get specific, do you believe in equality for gays or immigrants or anyone who is not white? Well the answers get more sketchy.<br />
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And that is the distinction that these bills are designed to play on, in a way that is politically correct, at least to the far-right. If you called these the "right o be a bigot" bills, they would fail, but wrap it in the Bible and call it "Religious Freedom Bills" well who can be against that? It works both ways. Even progressives believe in religious freedom, it's in the constitution!<br />
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So thought these crappy laws are falling one by one we must not fall victim to the reframed issue. Don't call them "Religious Freedom Bills". If you do you are buying into their framing and that is a losing tactic. Call these what they are, Bigot Bills, Jim Crow Redeux, Discrimination Promotion Bills. That is what they really are and we must not let anyone forget it.<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-1831844661241982072014-03-06T10:26:00.003-06:002014-03-06T10:26:34.539-06:00Time For A Gay Think Tank?The idea the LGBT people are recruiting has never gone away. Why? I would guess it is a combination of just plain ignorance and fear that gay=predator. First of all let me get this out there, of all the gay men and lesbians I know (and that’s a lot), none, repeat NONE are pedophiles. Most, like me, find children charming in small doses. As far as sexual attraction goes, no way!<br />
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So why does this myth persist? Well our friends at the Family Research Council are one reason. They continue to promote the idea that LGBT folks are all out there trolling for children. Their “research” is completely false and not supported by any credible studies. But, because they have the name “research” in their name, some believe them.<br />
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Maybe it’s time for an “LGBT Research Board”? A think tank devoted to cranking out studies that dispute the crap FRC spews. Even better, a serious policy group that creates and promotes progressive policies with regard to LGBT and sexual orientation matters in general. <br />
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Now I know there is the HRC and they do fine work, but they are not in the business of doing research, and a reputable source of studies and position papers on LGBT issues would be welcome in many places. <br />
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Now, most of you know I work with the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance out of Washington DC. Our organization does a lot of advocacy and policy work in the field of human rights. Our overarching principal is “sexual freedom is a basic human right” a’d that is a pretty broad umbrella. We concentrate on policy regarding sexual freedom issues, like free speech, sex education, LGBT rights and more, but we aren’t a think tank as such.<br />
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Maybe we will someday become one, or maybe we will spin one off as a separate entity, but until then there is a big gap to fill. I urge graduate students and universities to think about doing some scientific work to reinforce the truth about the idea of “recruitment” and do some basic research into profiling real pedophiles. <br />
Until there is a critical mass of research and position papers available to lawmakers and advocates, we will continue to be frustrated by the bogus claims from the far right.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-50880012424722450732013-11-08T13:24:00.002-06:002013-11-08T13:26:46.831-06:00ENDA SCHMENDAThe news that the Senate reached enough votes for a super majority (filibuster-proof) vote on the Employment Non Discrimination Act was good. I am delighted that at least a few Republicans actually saw the reason behind this law, and the injustice it will correct. However the ebullient comments from LGBT organizations and the breathless reporting from the new channels would have you believe that it will become the law of the land. After all, the President said he would sign it. <br />
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Wait just a darned minute; it still has to go through the House of Representatives. If you forgot that old cartoon from School House Rocks about how a bill becomes law? Yes all this celebration, and it is worth celebrating, is a bit premature, since the current makeup of the house, and specifically the Tea Party Republicans will not even let ENDA come to the floor much less to a vote.<br />
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Listening to Speaker John Boehner’s rhetoric, you would think ENDA would bring about the Apocalypse complete with plagues and horsemen. According to a spokesperson for the Speaker he believes, “this legislation will increase frivolous litigation and cost American jobs, especially small business jobs.” Then he went on to assert the incredulous statement that these protections are already covered under law. Really? And this coming from a lawyer?<br />
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Here is a little lesson on the law from a non-lawyer to Speaker Boehner. Unless the protection is specifically spelled out and defined in excruciating detail in a law, it won’t hold up in court. Courts do not like vague and nebulous statutes. That is why ENDA was created. It specifically prohibits private employers with more than 15 employees from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. It exempts religious institutions who may decide that institutionalized hate and discrimination is part of their creed. Hey, it’s a free country, except if you are LGBT. <br />
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Boehner knows ENDA is key to brining full equality to LGBT and he also knows the Tea Party, who is in control of the GOP right now, won’t stand for it. He knows if he brings it to a vote he will probably lose his position as speaker, and therefore he won’t bring it to the floor.<br />
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I hear people say there might be enough votes to pass ENDA in the House, but I have seen absolutely no evidence of that, and the commentators who say it don’t offer any facts. The truth is, unless the small rabid right wing that has the House in its grip are not voted from office, there is no chance of ENDA going anywhere.<br />
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The cynic in me thinks that is why some GOP Senators felt safe in voting for it, knowing it was dead in the water. They can look reasonable without any repercussions. It’s perfect positioning for a Senator who is trying to look moderate while maintaining the hard line of the Tea Party.<br />
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So meanwhile the GOP is laughing as they watch LGBT advocates and allies applaud themselves for getting so far with ENDA. It is a laudable achievement, but ultimately the fate rests with a far-right fringe group who has the House in its grip. These folks have no incentive to pass ENDA. IN fact, doing so would most likely spell their demise back home in the sticks where their constituents cower in fear of the dangerous “gay agenda” still sends people running for their guns. Those same folks can feel comfort that they are not racist homophobic bigots, but “true patriots” who simply want to take the country back. <br />
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Back from what? Well mostly back from the rest of the country. These are the people who don’t understand that the days of white, straight, male privilege are over. They long for the America of the 1950s, a simpler idyllic time in their minds. Of course none of them experienced those glory days as gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender or black or Asian or Hispanic or Jewish or anything other than white, straight and Protestant. <br />
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I lived through the 1950’s and 1960’s and that idyllic veneer was an illusion. Sadly, it’s the same illusion John Boehner is living in today.<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-85097851793341180072013-09-06T12:57:00.001-05:002013-09-06T12:57:17.526-05:00Everyone should have an Auntie Mame.Everyone should have someone in their life that lived outside the box, who is fabulous and fun but imbued with common sense. Like the character Rosalind Russell portrayed in the 1950’s movie, Auntie Mame, they would be a person who no matter what, was intent on living life to the fullest. <br /><br />I consider myself luck to have had such an Auntie Mame in my life. Her name was Melissa Caron, and she really was my aunt. She had a very eventful life, and from the moment I met her she captivated me much in the way Mame captivated Patrick in the movie. <br /><br />Melissa had married a gambler named “Frenchy” Caron in the 1940’s and moved away from Dallas to the northwest. There in Bremerton and later Seattle She and my uncle Frenchy operated a club and restaurant. In reality it was a front for an illegal casino and with a military base nearby, they did very well.<br /> <br />My uncle unfortunately died of a heart attack leaving Melissa and her young son alone in Washington State. His business partner, the local sheriff, tossed my aunt out on her ear and so she had to reinvent herself.<br /><br />She sold much of her jewelry and furs to finance a move to Southern California where she and my cousin Michael found a small apartment in Brentwood, long before it was the trendy spot it is now. She got a job at a local pharmacy as a clerk and on the side she took photos for the local society news. That gave her entrance to meet the glitterati of Hollywood and Beverly Hills. I have a trunk filled with her photos that I must someday scan and put online.<br /><br />By the 1950’s she was making a comfortable living, now managing the gif department of the Brent-Air Pharmacy. That’s when I first made a visit to meet her. My parents took me on a cross country driving vacation in December of 1957 to California. We saw the newly minted Disneyland, Marine Land of the Pacific, and stayed with Melissa. I had just seen the movie Auntie Mame in Dallas before we left and when I arrived at Melissa’s “Chinese modern” apartment I was sure I was on the set of the movie! <br /><br />She greeted us in a flowing Chinese robe, smoking a gold filtered cigarette in a long cigarette holder. She was Auntie Mame!<br /><br />The room was decorated for the holidays and not to be understated, she had a big black flocked Christmas tree decorated with gold bows and lights. Even her dog, a miniature poodle was decked out in seasonal attire. In that one day, she swept me off my feet and into her whirlwind, and I will never forget it.<br />That night there was a party at her place and there I met my first gay men. They were very effeminate and much like Melissa, fabulous!<br /><br />Later in the week we visited her friends, and she showed me off like a prize. I distinctly remember a party at Gary Crosby’s house where I met Bing’s son and many entertainers who I had only seen on TV. Again, fabulous.<br /><br />Melissa remained a part of my life, even from far away in California. She would visit my mom in Dallas occasionally and we would visit her in California on a semi-regular basis. She was very progressive, liberal minded and opinionated and though she was never rich, she always lived with a of touches of extravagance that kept up her image.<br /><br />Years later, she befriended an aging neighbor, and took care of much of her daily chores. She helped her pay bills, shopped for her and many other kindnesses that I took note of. She did it not expecting anything in return. She did it because it is what you do for friends. Great lesson!<br /><br />One day, her friend fell ill and was hospitalized. She never recovered, and that’s when Melissa was contacted by a lawyer. Seems her neighbor, Gladys, was wealthy though she lived very modestly in a small apartment. In her will she left most of her property to Melissa, property including blue chip stocks, bonds and all her possessions. While cleaning out her apartment she found a stash of jewelry in her drawers that most people would keep in a bank vault. Suddenly Melissa was well-to-do!<br /><br />She promptly retired from her Pharmacy job and bought a house in Las Vegas and began the third phase of her life, that of wealthy socialite. Again, much like Auntie Mame, she rebounded with panache and soon became a fixture in the Vegas civic scene. <br /><br />Not to belabor the story, but again she showed me how to live life to the fullest, and take whatever came her way in stride and do it with style. Long since she passed away, her memory still lives with me.<br /><br />She was fond of one of Auntie Mame’s lines in the move, “Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death! You’ve got to live, live, live!”<br /><br />That advice is something I always remember, and for that I always thank my Auntie Mame. <div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-56938212658005695962013-08-02T12:12:00.003-05:002013-08-02T12:12:39.960-05:00Weiner's Weiner and America's ClosetWhen Anthony Weiner was exposed for showing his “Little Oscar” in a text message, the press had a field day. Granted a lot of it was because of his name and the all too obvious puns, but a lot of it has to do with our double standard we have in this country. We live by one standard and are incensed by the invasion of privacy when someone talks about our sexual adventures, but for politicians it’s open season!<br /><br />Now let me clarify something. I am not talking about closeted public servants who actively work to suppress the rights of one sexual minority while secretly engaging in the same practice. Because of their hypocrisy I think that makes them fair game. The same holds true for candidates who claim high moral ground, opining about the “sanctity of marriage” and parade under the banners of “family values”, only to engage in serial affairs and get caught with their pants down, sometimes literally! <br /><br />I am talking about this illusion we have that our politicians are somehow above sex. We as a country seem to believe that sex is some sort of dirty activity and politicians should be chaste. We treat them like priests and if recent news shows anything, even priests are not chaste. <br /><br />The whole thing boils down to our country’s strange attitude toward sex in general. We can’t seem to talk about it like adults and we treat the subject with snide remarks or adolescent humor rather than take it seriously. They truth is we are all engaging in it in one way or another so what is the big deal?<br /><br />The big deal is most likely the long history of suppressed sexuality in the United States. As far back as our Puritan forefathers control of sexual activities has been used by religious groups. I could be quick to lay our repression exclusively at the feet of religion, but I believe it goes further than that. <br /><br />I suspect once the practice of psychoanalysis got going in the US we began to pathologize sexuality. From the early work of Krafft-Ebing in the late 1800’s anything that varied from the “norm” was categorized as deviant. Subsequently these deviant behaviors were given names and Bingo, new “diseases” were created! Since our country is very much fascinated with rules and lists, these new classifications were tailor made for those prone to fear mongering.<br /><br />It is during that time that the term “homosexual” came into common use and I believe both the scientific and religious communities embraced it along with anything else that a Latin moniker could be slapped on. After all if you could justify it with not only science but a few lines from the Bible, then it had to be something to be monitored and controlled.<br /><br />At some point we, as a country are going to have to face the fact that we need to learn to talk about sex as adults. That means putting aside the shame and guilt about anything sexual and give serious consideration that every one of us is a sexual being every bit as much as we are human beings, it is part of our nature. And I understand it will be uncomfortable for some folks, but that is most likely because they have denied that part of themselves for their whole lives. Not that they haven’t had sex, just they have conveniently compartmentalized it and relegated it to a secret place even they are afraid to go.<br /><br />I am not a psychologist, but I am very much human, and I found out long ago that to live a full and whole life, I had to accept and embrace my sexuality. We have to give the same respect to every other human being. The acknowledgement that they are also sexual beings like us and therefore having sex is part of their lives is essential. We have to stop expecting people just because they are in the public eye to stop having sex, in whatever form they might have it. <br /><br />I can hear the shouts of protest about sports figures and celebrities, “they are role models”. Well, if they are role models only when they are chaste and pure, and essentially sexless, we are setting a very strange example for future generations. They will grow up with the same guilt and shame issues we have and perpetuate that on their children as well.<br /><br />Healthy sex, consensual sex, even kinky sex if not the issue. The issue is being able to admit that our humanity includes all of that and unless it is actively harming someone it’s most likely just part of human nature. We can continue to behave one way but expect others to adhere to stricter and in fact unhealthy restrictions, or we can face facts and get over it.<br /><br />Sex is the big closet that our whole country has been in, and like those of us in the LGBT community, we found coming out of the closet liberated us from a lot of guilt and shame. We America, It’s time to come out! <br /><br /><br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-51197948142019927192013-07-15T09:34:00.003-05:002013-07-15T09:34:40.028-05:00I Was A Pre-Teen TerroristOK, I confess. I was a pre-teen terrorist! Well not really. However, what I used to do as a kid would today get me arrested and possibly charges with federal crimes. How our world has changed, and not for the better.<br />
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After hearing a story of a busload of kids being surrounded by a SWAT team and frisked, because one of them had a cap-gun, it became evident that childhood is a dangerous place today, if you're a kid.<br />
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As a child, I was inquisitive and it has led me not to a life of crime, but to a life-long intellectual curiosity. That should be considered a good thing and it sould be encouraged in our kids and in the adult population as well. A nation without any intellectual curiosity becomes just a country full of human sheep, being led from one crisis to another, willing to give up their freeom and critical thinking in the name of security.<br />
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Here is my story or confession if you will. I was eleven or twelve when I really became fascinated with fireworks. Like most kids my age (this is back in the dark ages of the 1950's and 1960's when fireworks were still legal) I enjoyed my share of firecrackers and bottle rockets, and unlike the horror stories, neither me nor any of my friends ever lit our house on fire or blew a finger off. We were taught by our parents how to light and respect fireworks.<br />
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My fascination went far beyond the noise of firecrackers. I liked the sparkly stuff, the fountains and rockets that exploded with showers of star and sparks. I wondered exactly how they worked and what went on inside them, so I did what any curious kid would do. I went to the library. For those who don't remember, a library is one of those places with lots of books...made of paper.<br />
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There I found a British publication from the 1930's titled "A Chemical Formulary" and within it's pages was a whole chapter on fireworks. It detailed the construction and more importantly the formulas for the showers of sparks and the stars the shot out of everything from Roman Candles to Professional mortars that shot hundreds of feet into the sky. I was fascinated and I decided I needed to try my had at making them.<br />
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My dad was a scientist, and working in a major institution he had access to lots of chemicals, so I made a list of what I needed and asked him to buy them for me. He was delighted with my interest in things scientific, so he agreed, not knowing the end results of my experimentation. It was for "A Science Fair Project" was the standard answer. (In reality it did turn into a science fair project and I won a blue ribbon for it!)<br />
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Soon I had jars of the same chemicals from the book and I began to combine them in very small quantities. I was not an idiot. I had see how powerful fireworks could be so I erred on the side of caution. Any work I did was done outside the house, far enough away that any accidents wouldn't result in burning the place down. <br />
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I learned how to make pyrotechnics that burned different colors. For red I used strontium, for green I used barium chloride, blue was copper chloride and silver was aluminum powder and so on. These were mixed with oxidizers like potassium chloride and perchlorates and the like.<br />
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What I achieved was pretty impressive. Brightly colored flares from the burning compounds that rivaled the colors of the commercial fireworks I bought at the stores. I never got to the point of building shells, since these took much more chemicals than I had and lots of time and something called "gum arabic" which I had yet to find. <br />
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The whole thing ended when I was testing a version of a fountain. It was filled with a mixture of various chemicals and aluminum power and was supposed to spray bright white sparks into the air in a delightful fountain. I had rolled the paper tube myself, packed the ingreedients and sealed it with the proper material that held the fuse. <br />
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I mounted it on a sturdy wooden base and the lit the fuse and got safely away. The fuse sputtered and vanished into the tube. As I watched the sparks began to shoot out the end. My joy was quickly interrupted by what I can only assume was a very loud explosion. I saw the flash and felt a slight shock wave and then nothing. I was temporarily deaf from what must have been a really loud bang. I tried to talk and heard nothing. my lips moved but no sound. I was scared and panicky. I quickly rounded up all the chemicals and tucked them away fearing the wrath of my parents. Luckily neither of them was home. <br />
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Soon I heard a slight ringing, and then dogs barking and then a whole ocean of sound as my hearing returned. I sat down and waited until my heart rate returned to a semblance of normal. Then, I assessed the situation. I must have packed the mixture too tightly into the tube, or made the opening too small and the result was a big explosion instead of a shower of pretty sparks. Such a small difference in construction and such a big and unexpected result. <br />
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Later I decided to keep my research to theoretical and not empirical. Also, no one except me apparently knew what happened. No police showed up, no neighbors complained. I guess they thought it was one of the sonic booms we heard regularly from the nearby Naval Air Station jets.<br />
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Today, there would have been lots of notice, and the resulting investigation would have found I possessed bomb making material and had conducted tests of explosives. I wold have ended up in juvenile detention or worse and my dad would have lost his position as professor. <br />
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So what changed between then and now? Well, we could point to 9/11 and be assured it would be the stock answer that justified any kind of over the top reaction by authorities. In reality it is the media, and specifically what passes as news that has brought us to where we are today. IN the name of keeping us informed they have numbed us with endless images of terrorist events that burn them indelibly into your memory, and more than that they replay them over and over ad-infinitum to make sure we remain scared. A frightened audience will stay glued to the TV and that means money to cable news. It also means money to politicians who take legalized bribes from defense contractors and security firms. They use the fear to keep us pliable and ready to sacrifice our freedoms for the assurance that we are safe. That safety means the strange ability to buy a gun without a background check but the inability to buy a sparkler legally in our city and chemistry sets? Well they don't include the "dangerous stuff" anymore.<br />
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We have got it backwards in the country. We arm everyone (88 guns per 100 people at last count) and then we keep them stupid and uneducated. <br />
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Granted, I was a bit reckless, and I could have lost my hearing or worse. What I learned was very valuable. Don't mess around with things that might be too powerful for you to control! I never injured myself permanently from my experiments again, and I learned caution. So being what today would be considered a "junior terrorist" was in 1961 creating an award winning science fair project.<br />
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I still miss having the right to shoot fireworks safely and sanely, guess I will have to be content to shooting guns? Go figure?<br />
<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-84741423533091341522013-05-03T13:49:00.001-05:002013-05-03T13:49:15.219-05:00A Specter of Death - Gay Concentration Camps - for Real!<a href="http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/gay-teens-starved-tortured-killed-camp-turn-them-%E2%80%98men%E2%80%99290413" target="_blank">The photo made me shiver</a>. The boy in the picture could have been a survivor of Auschwitz. Pale, skeletal and his life slipping away, Raymond Buys, 15, was clinging to life while hooked up to feeding tubes and medical devices, but they were not enough. Buys died, his body having suffered burns, broken bones and malnourishment finally succumbed, and all because he was gay.<br /><br />Yes the nightmare scenario of “camps” for gay men is no nightmare, it is real in South Africa. There a “general” was convincing parents to send their gay or effeminate young teems to his Echo Wild Game Rangers training course to turn them into “men”. Instead he turned several into corpses.<br /><br />Now, “general” Alex De Koker and his assistant Michael Erasmus will stand trial for murder, child abuse and neglect. Sadly since 2006 De Koker has been bilking parents out of thousands of dollars in his twisted ex-gay therapy. Even worse he has injured or killed several boys after chaining them to their beds and torturing them.<br /><br />To be sure there will be more murder charges and South African justice will prevail by putting these two monsters away forever. The saddest part of the story is that parents would subject their children to torture and starvation to try to change who they are.<br /><br />Since every form of “reparative therapy” for gay men has been shown to be ineffective and downright fraudulent, it is sad that these parents didn’t get the message. To try to lay blame for this is difficult, but I would suspect that these misguided parents had been listening to some hate filled rhetoric, and I would not be surprised if it wasn’t coming from right-wing evangelicals. <br /><br />The same folks who spread the hate filled message against LGBT people here in the United States have taken their “Bad News” overseas to more receptive audiences. Africa has been exceptionally fertile for their efforts though most notably in Uganda with its institutionalized homophobia. To find this madness in South Africa, a nation with one of the most progressive attitudes toward LGBT people, is alarming. The idea of “camps” for gay teens conjures up images of the kind of solutions proposed by the right-wing in our country when the AIDS crisis first hit. That horrific idea did not go away though, instead it has been resurrected by people like North Carolina pastor Charles Worley who actually called for putting “all the lesbians and queers” in concentration camps. <br /><br />These kinds of messages do not happen in a vacuum. In the age of YouTube this hatred gets spewed worldwide and reinforces the fear some parents have that their children will turn out gay. It is a second front in the culture wars for the fundamentalists. They have long been active in Africa and now they are characterizing the progress made by LGBT people in the US as a new imperialist threat to “African family values”. People like mega-church pastor, Rick Warren and holocaust revisionist, Scott Lively are pumping their propaganda into Africa with renewed intensity and now it seems to have made it all the way south.<br /><br />As Afrikaans buy into this misguided message it is not surprising that cases like this might pop up, but it is a sad commentary on the extent of the collateral damage from the culture war in the US that the right-wing is so fiercely waging. Their battle in the US is a losing one, but there is still fallout overseas. <br />
<br />The real “good news” is that these monsters are being brought to justice. <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-37898863471748702732013-03-29T10:38:00.001-05:002013-03-29T10:38:33.447-05:00"Re-targeting" and the Creepy Side of Marketing OnlineAs a marketing guy, I am familiar with a slew of techniques that are used by companies to get their message to potential customers. It's one of the basic goals of marketing and it's the bedrock of doing business with consumers.<br />
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I have no problem with it because I see it as a service. I make my company's products and services visible to potential customers in appealing ways that entice them to do business with us. It's honest and straightforward.<br />
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Online things should be the same way, but recently internet marketers have moved into the grey area of "re-targeting" and "interactive marketing". I see this as grey because it potentially violates the implied privacy of individuals online. Here is an example.<br />
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I am an out gay man, no surprise there. I recently looked for a gay-friendly guest house for one of my trips out of town. Google efficiently found it for me and I booked a room for a weekend away.<br />
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Suddenly, on Facebook, I am getting ads for gay guest houses and the male version of Victoria's Secret underwear and even more NSFW stuff. Saw what? If I were in the closet at work, anyone who saw that screen would figure I was gay, effectively outing me electronically. <br />
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My search on Google was tracked and compared to my Facebook profile as well as the profiles of all of my friends and at the speed of light, a BIG DATA computer crunched that I am gay and therefore would like seeing ads for skimpy men's underwear and suggestive ads.<br />
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Kinda creepy, huh? Now the fallacy of this kind of mindless targeting is that first of all, I don't wear that kind of underwear, if I did I would look like the Hindenburg in a g-string. Additionally, I do not make a habit of staying in guest houses. I prefer hotels with all their amenities. Two strikes for the "re-targeting" algorithm. What's more is the fact that since I have such a variety of "friends" on Facebook, the assumptions the interactive marketing made are myriad.<br />
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The overall impression is that marketers are eavesdropping on everything I do, and they are. Privacy on the internet is an illusion, every click is tracked and analyzed by someone looking to sell you their product. This is the big difference in interactive marketing and real-time marketing.<br />
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At a mall, I may browse a lot of stores, but the clerks don't follow me around and whisper their message in my ear whenever I stop at a competition's window. They don't track me down and try to persuade me to by that shirt I passed up at their shop, if they did I'd most likely call the cops or just slug them.<br />
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Online, the rules apparently change. Just a word to the wise. If you want to have some fun, browse through sites with products and services you would never use in a million years. Watch the marketing bots try to sell you stuff you don't want. They aren't going away any time soon, so you might as well screw with them and enjoy it!<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-10447792783795321642013-01-25T10:53:00.001-06:002013-01-25T10:53:50.498-06:00FootprintsIn 1979, I left my footprints on the National Mall during the first March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights and listened to speakers from Troy Perry to Allen Ginsberg make the case our civil rights. It gave me hope. How could the President and Congress ignore the hundred thousand plus men and women who marched to the capitol to demand equality?<br /><br />But President Carter did ignore us, and so did Congress. In fact we have been pretty much ignored in the oval office until now. In his second inaugural speech, President Obama not only acknowledged our struggle, he linked it to the great civil rights struggles of the past. In one sentence he cut through the years of neglect and put our fight in perspective.<br /><br />“We, the people, declare today that the most evident of truths —- that all of us are created equal —- is the star that guides us still; just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall; just as it guided all those men and women, sung and unsung, who left footprints along this great Mall, to hear a preacher say that we cannot walk alone; to hear a King proclaim that our individual freedom is inextricably bound to the freedom of every soul on Earth.”<br /><br />In case the listener was not a student of history and didn’t recognize those three watershed events in the struggle for equality President Obama reiterated the point.<br /><br />“Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law — for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well.”<br /><br />Finally, a president “gets it”! The women’s suffrage, the civil rights movement and LGBT rights are part of the same struggle. It is acknowledgement that we as LGBT Americans are no longer set apart, we do not seek “ special rights” any more than every other American. <br /><br />His nod to same-sex marriage will no doubt have weight in the upcoming Supreme Court cases that contest the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act. The court will no doubt take into account the growing acceptance of same-sex marriage and the endorsement of the President. They do not act in a vacuum. <br /><br />Apparently the President does not act in a vacuum either. I know that like many folks in the LGBT community, I had been disappointed that President Obama had not pushed harder for LGBT rights. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but still was impatient for more action. Most people recall the kerfuffle of having homophobic preacher, Rick Warren at the first inauguration. Many will also recall that candidate Obama openly affirmed that marriage was “between a man and a woman” and he was against “gay marriage”. <br /><br />Things change. In May of last year he stat4ed in an interview on ABC, “…over the course of several years as I have talked to friends and family and neighbors when I think about members of my own staff who are in incredibly committed monogamous relationships, same-sex relationships, who are raising kids together, when I think about those soldiers or airmen or Marines or sailors who are out there fighting on my behalf and yet feel constrained, even now that Don't Ask Don't Tell is gone, because they are not able to commit themselves in a marriage, at a certain point I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married."<br /><br />And now, in the inaugural address, he makes it abundantly clear that equality will be a big part of his second term in office. <br /><br />It is heartening to see that those footsteps of LGBT people who marched on the National Mall in 1979, 1987, 2000 and in 2009 have not been blown away by the political winds that scour Washington . President Obama, by acknowledging those “footprints along this great Mall” not only gives a nod to LGBT rights, he gives me hope that I will live to see those rights become the law of the land.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-47506543328116755282013-01-07T12:19:00.000-06:002013-01-07T12:19:04.509-06:00The Great Gun Hard-OnI usually don't get blatantly sexual with my posts, but today is different.<br />
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Let's get honest for a minute. If you listen closely to the rhetoric around the idea of an assault weapon ban, you hear a lot of hyperbole and just plain silly arguments on both sides. But to be honest, the underlying love affair with assault weapons comes down to sex and more specifically "machismo".<br />
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I have been to a few gun shows in my time and when I see people, specifically men, handling weapons like the AR-15 I see their whole body language change. For me their stance gets wider, they stand taller and display a noticeable swagger.<br />
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Their speech is also a give-away. You never hear a guy describe an assault rifle as "well balanced", "precision" or even "well designed". The first words are usually "awesome", "bitchin" or "day-um". They speak of these guns with emotional terms and that tells a lot. The assault rifles are not guns to them as much as they are big, deadly extensions of their manhood. I have even heard the phrase, "who's the man?" when someone handles these guns.<br />
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America's love affair with semi-automatic weapons is driven by marketing, popular media and the gun lobby who equate powerful weaponry with manhood. They might as well say, "it takes a big dick to handle this gun!" America has a hard-on for deadly weapons. <br />
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This mental erection has no basis in statistics. The facts are that since semi-automatic weapons were legalized, the country has become less safe. Gun deaths continue to climb and no one seems willing to state the obvious except <a href="http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/12/20/bill-moyers-america-turned-violence-into-a-profit-center-and-has-fetish-with-guns/" target="_blank">Bill Moyers</a> when he stated that America seeks no, "redemption from its fetish with guns, its romance with the free market of violence."<br />
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The whole argument about assault weapons and the 2nd Amendment are a diversion. Americans want these guns so they can feel potent and "manly". It is just a manifestation of the whole machismo thing and the price is the deaths of thousands of people a year. It's time for this to stop.<br />
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It's high time we got honest and found another way to bolster our national case of penis envy. A country that cannot talk in an adult and mature way about sex, finds other outlets. We have chosen guns, lots and lots of guns. My suspicion is that if we had a healthier attitude toward sex, and could honestly talk about it with each other, then showing off our big guns would have less meaning.<br />
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If you don't believe me, go to a gun show and watch for a while. You will soon understand and be as appalled as I am. <div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-45002834331323431702012-12-28T11:25:00.002-06:002012-12-28T11:25:18.641-06:00Reality, Meet the GOPReality and the Republican Party are not close friends. That was evident on election night when Karl Rove blubbered and fought with his pocket calculator trying to dispute the election results his own network, Fox News was reporting. <br /><br />Now, perhaps, there is a watershed event. Former House Speaker and failed presidential candidate Newt Gingrich was quoted in the Huffington Post as saying, “I don't think these guys have a clue.” He was speaking about the Republican National Committee and its internal review of what went wrong during the election . <br /><br />Part of that interview was most relevant for LGBT Americans, when Gingrich breached the subject of Gay Marriage. He felt that the GOP needed to open their eyes and see that the majority of Americans no longer have a problem with same-sex marriage. Wow!<br /><br />Specifically he made the distinction between “"marriage in a church from a legal document issued by the state". He went on to say, “It is in every family. It is in every community. The momentum is clearly now in the direction in finding some way to ... accommodate and deal with reality. And the reality is going to be that in a number of American states -- and it will be more after 2014 -- gay relationships will be legal, period."<br /><br />The phrase “accommodate and deal with reality” is what struck me most. After all, this is the man who actually thought he had a shot at the Presidency. A man who was divorced twice and has a spotty history of infidelity, as well as being reprimanded by the House Ethics Committee, seriously thought he could stand up to the scrutiny of a Presidential run? It would seem that reality and Newt were not well acquainted.<br /><br />Newt was even a signatory to the National Organization for Marriage pledge regarding a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. What happened? <br /><br />Well, Newt and the GOP are not immune to public opinion, and though they seem to be fighting it every step of the way, he and others on the right have seen that the age of bashing LGBT people to rally the base, no longer works. Time is marching on and leaving that sad chapter in American political history in the dust.<br /> <br />"I didn't think that was inevitable 10 or 15 years ago, when we passed the Defense of Marriage Act," he said. "It didn't seem at the time to be anything like as big a wave of change as we are now seeing."<br />This may bode well for the upcoming decision by the Supreme Court on the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act. Perhaps even the conservative voices on the bench will see the tide turning and clear the way for federal recognition of same-sex unions. We can hope for that, but one stumbling block still stands in the way, and that’s Justice Antonin Scalia. His recent comparison of the ban on sodomy to a ban on murder might give us a clue to his thinking. Though he claims to be a “textualist” when it comes to the Constitution, he is more of an absurdist, reducing his arguments to absurd comparisons. <br /><br />In the end, his absurdity may not matter. My hope is that Scalia will be writing the minority dissenting opinion on DOMA and that his words will look every bit as silly as Karl Rove on election night. The tide has turned and Scalia doesn’t notice, and when you can’t see something that is so evident that Newt Gingrich can see it, then you might end up looking as absurd as your argument. <div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-68416110620085683222012-12-26T13:11:00.003-06:002012-12-26T13:11:46.219-06:00Heading Off The CliffYou can't turn on a news report without hearing references to the "fiscal cliff". Terrifying? Not so much, but still a real issue.<br />
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Quite frankly I don't think the Republicans have any intention of negotiating and a re perfectly willing to do a Thelma & Louise on January 1. Why? Because they can let the automatic lifting of the Bush tax cuts happen, the spending cuts and all, then they can pass a bill that cuts taxes for the middle class and still say they didn't raise taxes. They cut them!<br />
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Pretzel logic for sure, but the GOP excels at that. They can pass legislation to restore the military spending and claim they were defending the nation. More pretzel logic.<br />
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When this happens, and I do believe it is a "when" not an "if", the Democrats in Congress need to make it abundantly clear that it is the GOP 's fault. They need to control the narrative and not let the Republicans play their semantic game. <br />
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I suspect President Obama is already working on a speech that will lay out the facts for the American people in a way that makes it abundantly clear who is at fault for this mess.<br />
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In the long run it wont hurt us much, unless the stock market gets neurotic and starts kicking in some automatic selling programs. Oh and then there is the debt ceiling.... The Chinese curse is coming true, "may you live in interesting times."<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-42853878841776456972012-12-25T11:05:00.002-06:002012-12-25T20:06:46.026-06:00EmanuelEmanuel is translated as "God with us". That was the biggest message of Jesus and of the birth narrative. The story in my opinion was meant to give a graphic example of what Jesus taught in later life He took the idea of God being only in the Temple and moved the focus to individuals. God was and is with us, not hidden behind the veil of the Temple.<br />
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Jesus was a reformer. His path was meant to bring us closer to the divine and to free us from the rules and structures of the Pharisees. His path broke free from the rigid rules and relied on the simple commandment to love one another. <br />
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As I celebrate this season and reread the birth narratives I know that indeed a new light did come into the world. May the light of this season brighten your days.<br />
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<i>Note: Sometimes I get off on a theological bent and I have to reassert that what I write is just my opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.</i><div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-65449296399338297292012-12-21T13:20:00.001-06:002012-12-21T13:20:19.211-06:00The Christmas Story"And an angel came to the woman and told her she would bear a child." <br />
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That's not a direct Biblical quote, but it is paraphrased. If you think I am referring to Mary being visited by an angel, I am not, I am referring to Abraham's wife Sarah. She was told by one of the three angels that visited them she would have a child. She laughed!<br />
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The same story happens again the the opening of the new testament when Elisabeth and Zechariah are visited by Gabriel and told they will have a child, John.<br />
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The same story happens again in Luke when another angel tells Mary she will have a son, Jesus.<br />
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So what gives? Three identical stories with the names and times changed, yet essentially they are all the same.<br />
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Well, I am not a Biblical scholar, and never attended Divinity School, but here's my take on it:<br />
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Each of these births was seen as an important milestone. Their story is told through a familiar lens of an older well-known story. This is not to shroud history, but to reveal the truths behind the tale. They are great myths that pass along knowledge and wisdom through generations. They are not historically accurate.<br />
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Just like the slaughter of the innocents in the New Testament, there is a matching story in the Old Testament. Moses is hidden in the bull rushes to avoid being slaughtered by Pharaoh in Egypt. Likewise, Joseph and Mary flee to Egypt to avoid having Jesus killed by Herod. <br />
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Why? Because it was important to show that Jesus was of the same caliber and even greater than Moses, who "came out of Egypt". That story was very familiar to all Jews who heard it and they would no doubt have gotten the comparison. <br />
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Did it happen? There is no historical evidence for Herod slaughtering children, but that wasn't the point of the story. It was a literary device to get Jesus into Egypt, so he could later emerge with the importance needed to convey who he was.<br />
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Wise men? They most likely never existed, but their presence in the story shows once again, and this time to Roman citizens how important Jesus was. His birth narrative is not historical fact, but another literary device to infer his importance. It is filled with truth, but very few facts.<br />
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Does this mean I am not a Christian? Absolutely not. As a follower of Jesus, I find these stories meaningful and worth retelling again and again, but without understanding the "why" of these tales, they easily become just a bunch of fictional stories. <br />
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As Bishop John Shelby Spong noted in his book, "Liberating the Gospels" these tales are best viewed as "midrash". It is a Jewish tradition of retelling a story with new characters to show their real importance and to connect with a new audience. <br />
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So take some time and really read the Christmas stories again and don't look for facts, but instead seek the truth they convey.<br />
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Merry Christmas.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-66734261797245639632012-12-19T11:48:00.000-06:002012-12-19T11:48:20.656-06:00Human Rights - Family Rights<div class="MsoNormal">
In case you missed it, December 10 was UN Human Rights Day. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is something we as LGBT Americans should
take to heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br />
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The Universal Declaration of Human Rights is a wonderful
document.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is intended to assure freedom
and justice and a voice for all people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The United States along with 48 other
countries signed the declaration in 1948 and it has become the standard by
which human rights are judged.</div>
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One of the key provisions in this historic document is the
provision that the family is a “natural and fundamental group unit of society
and is entitled to protection by society and the State.” Interestingly enough,
the UN declined to give a definition of the term “family”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They did this because they saw as early as
1948 that families were defined in different ways by different cultures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They went on to specify that, ““in giving
full effect to the recognition of family in the context of (International
Covenant on Civil and Political Rights) article 23, it is important to accept
the concept of the various forms of family…”</div>
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In other words, our families are ours to define.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For LGBT Americans that is really
important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that the Supreme Court is
taking up DOMA and the California Proposition 8 case, it means more than
ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br />
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The reality of same-sex marriage is this, until there is a
federal law that assures recognition of marriages from all states, same-sex or
not, a marriage license is pretty much just a nice piece of paper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The union and its rights will be good only in
the state where it was signed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In other words
your family may be OK is Washington State, but in Texas you are just a couple
of friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br />
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For family arrangements beyond the hetero-normative model,
it gets even more difficult. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the leather
community for example, there are lots of families consisting of 2-3 or more
individuals who are in a relationship with each other that they consider a
family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not unusual for a leather “Daddy” to
have a couple of “boys” in his or her household.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(For the uninitiated <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the title of “Daddy” has nothing to do with
parenting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is a role as well as an
honorific and it can apply to a man or woman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Likewise, the idea of “boys” or “bois” or “girls” has nothing to do with
minors, these are roles assumed by leatherfolk and are terms of affection and
position within the leather family structure.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>These leather families are often as tight knit and valid as any blood-related
family and in many cases more so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br />
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If the UN Declaration is to be believed, even these very
non-traditional families have a right to exist and be recognized, because the
reality of families in the US is this, only 20% of households consist of
married husbands and wives with children. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Norman Rockwall family unit is a myth, and
it is time we began understanding just how varied families in our country are. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Same-sex marriage will be a step toward this recognition,
but it will still leave millions of American’s out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br />
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It will take a lot of work and a lot of education to fulfill
the goals of the UN Declaration in the 21<sup>st</sup> Century.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will take families of all types making
their case for recognition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will be
uncomfortable for some people but if we are to take human rights seriously we
have to understand that all families, deserve respect and rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br />
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So next time you hear of the problems of human rights, don’t
automatically assume it is a third-world issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As LGBT Americans we still live as second class citizens who are denied
the right to form legally recognized families of our own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-8118238775182369172012-12-19T09:21:00.001-06:002012-12-19T09:21:29.736-06:00The War On Christmas has been over for more than 100 years!I am so tired of the fake War on Christmas that Fox News continues to foist on the uneducated viewers of it's alleged news.<br /><br />If we want to celebrate a "traditional American Christmas" like our founding fathers, then we should go to work on Christmas Day just like any other day. In fact when the pilgrims came to America, they did not celebrate Christmas, it was considered too decadent. The holiday was actually outlawed in Boston until 1681 and was punishable by a fine. After the Revolution, congress was even in session in 1789 on Christmas day.<br /><br />It remained a little noticed holiday until it was made a federal holiday in 1870.<br /><br />So to the Fox idiots, Merry Christmas, the <a href="http://www.thehistoryofchristmas.com/ch/in_america.htm" target="_blank">War on Christmas was won</a> on June 26, 1870 when Congress passed the law making it a federal holiday. Now go out and SHOP!<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-81481785726812673852012-12-14T11:28:00.002-06:002012-12-14T11:28:38.763-06:00More Holiday Gun Violence As if the mall shooting wasn't enough, now a gunman entered an elementary school in <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2012/12/14/school-shooting-connecticut/1769367/" target="_blank">Newton, Connecticut and opened fire</a>. Details are sketchy, but there are victims and the shooter is dead.<br />
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Happy friggin Holidays! <br />
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There isn't a war on Christmas, but apparently there is a Christmas War. Time for serious gun control in this crazy country!<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-48157748958225268852012-12-12T11:04:00.002-06:002012-12-12T11:04:45.525-06:00Happy Holidays! Another Shooting!A lone gunman walked into a busy <a href="http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/12/11/15849093-two-people-shot-to-death-at-mall-in-suburban-portland-oregon-gunman-also-dies?lite" target="_blank">mall near Portland, Oregon and opened fire</a>. He was carrying a high-powered assault rifle and began shooting people at random, creating chaos which ended with two victims dead as well as the shooter himself who took his own life.<br />
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Merry Fucking Christmas! <br />
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Now, isn't it about time we had that discussion of gun control in our country or are we just keep going to let crazy people have guns? Additionally, are we going to admit that being armed does not equal being safe. There is a right to carry concealed arms in Oregon, yet no one "defended" him or herself against the shooter. <br />
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Even police called to the scene did not shoot back, fearing accidentally killing more innocent bystanders. That is why having a gun is not "protection". even a skilled marksman would have a high probability of causing unintended deaths or injuries trying to defend against a wacko shooter like this.<br />
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Why do we continue to bow down to the National Rifle Association and the gun lobby whenever the idea of actually trying to control the number and availability of guns in this country? Because politicians are cowards. They are afraid of actually having to argue in favor of a civilized policy regarding handguns and assault rifles. They are afraid of having to tell the truth, guns do kill people.<br />
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Do I sound angry? Oh hell yes. Year after year assault rifles and handguns spread death and destruction across our country and yet we refuse to even discuss it. It's time to stop pretending that this is an issue of right to protection and self defense and call it what it is, a well orchestrated effort on behalf of gun manufacturers to keep selling armaments intended for the military to civilians. It's not about the Second Amendment, it's about cash. So let's stop the charade and get down to brass tacks. Time for a comprehensive gun policy in the US that is sane and sensible.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-77011014778428579212012-12-07T15:56:00.003-06:002012-12-07T15:56:40.905-06:00December 7 - Still Lives in InfamySeventy one years ago on a lovely December morning, Japanese bombers launched from aircraft carriers made a devastating attack on Pearl Harbor. That attack has often been credited with awakening the American public to the state of chaos in the world and ushering us into World War II.<br />
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That historical point will be debated for another 71 years most likely, but the impact of the attack has never been in question. America suddenly realized we couldn't sit by while the world waged war, isolationism was no longer an option.<br />
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9/11 is often likened to Pearl Harbor and with some good reasons. On that day, America realized we were not immune from terrorists and isolationism was not an option. The big difference was the enemy. In WWII the Axis powers were sovereign countries, bent on taking territory and expanding their power. On 9/11 a handful of very dedicated fanatics got the attention of the world with a couple of box cutters and a well executed plan.<br />
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Both these tragedies shook our country from it's complacency. In the case of Pearl Harbor it threw us into one of the worst wars in human history, and in the case of 9/11 it threw us into the longest war in US history.<br />
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It is a good day to remember the men and women who lost their lives that day in December 1941 and the generation whose valor and sacrifice defeated a tyranny the world has not seen since. <br />
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Few who were at Pearl Harbor are still alive, but their story will never be forgotten.<br />
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Take a moment to remember.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-28229141163804642022012-11-26T08:22:00.001-06:002012-11-26T08:22:41.144-06:00The Next BushJust when you thought it was safe to go back to worrying about everyday problems, a new and very ugly one sprouts up. It's another Bush! George Prescott Bush to be exact.<br />
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He is a Republican dream candidate too. A vet, a conservative and with brown skin! Son of Jeb Bush and his wife <span class="st">Columba Garnica Bush George P. Bush has<a href="http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1112/84166.html?hp=t1" target="_blank"> registered as a political candidate in Texas for 2014. </a></span><br />
<span class="st"><br /></span>
<span class="st">Once again the GOP is grooming a candidate for the White House. Bush with his non-artificial skin color and Mexican-American heritage is just what the GOP is looking for. He is targeting the office of Land Commissioner first, a good place to make connections with wealthy and at 36 years of age, he has a long career ahead of him.</span><br />
<span class="st"><br /></span>
<span class="st">The biggest problem is his past. Back in 1994 he broke into his former girlfriends home, had a confrontation with her father and tore up their front lawn by spinning his car in circles on it. As The Smoking Gun says, he is the "creepy" Bush. Naturally, the family did not press charges <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/nut-some-soup-0" target="_blank">but the police report gives details</a>.</span><br />
<span class="st"><br /></span>
<span class="st">Now, your job, as a thinking adult with at least some leanings toward the left, is to make sure this creep never gets elected. Your vote and your work will be needed to nip this Bush in the bud at the ballot box in 2014!</span><div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-11586460506381851882012-11-20T09:19:00.000-06:002012-11-20T09:19:34.879-06:00Transgender Day of RemembranceBack in the dark ages when I was a child, the only person I ever knew of who was transgender was Christine Jorgensen an American GI who underwent what was then called "sex-change" surgery in 1952. Christine was a media sensation in the 1950's and was often the brunt of off-color jokes in the press and on TV.<br />
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Later in my "disco days" I met several drag queens who were actually transgender. At the time that term was unknown and the unfortunate "she-male" was the monicker used. It didn't take long before I was friends with several male-to female transgender folk. By that time the word was starting to gain traction and "transexual" and "transgender" entered my vocabulary.<br />
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I didn't know any female to male trans folk, or at least I thought I didn't. I did know quite a few very butch dykes, and several who preferred to be addressed as "sir". The leather community at that time was still developing some of the traditions we hold today, so few people were called "Sir" unless they were from the Renaissance Fair. <br />
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Later I met a good friend who was a cute butch dyke. She always gave off a masculine vibe, even to the point that when she was at the local leather bar, she got hit on my guys who didn't know her true sex. I soon learned that she had decided to transition, and my education into gender really began.<br />
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Now, I know dozens of transgender people both transmen and transwomen and each has a different story to tell about their transition. All have fascinating stories to tell of their journey and how they finally made peace with their gender identity.<br />
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I urge you to not be afraid to ask your friends who are transgender to tell you their story. You will learn a great deal about the resilience of the human spirit and how it affected their lives. If they are like many of my trans friends, there will be both heartache and happiness in their tale. It is a struggle much like the one gay and lesbian people go through when we realize our sexuality is different from many of our peers. It is a story you need to hear.<br />
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So on this day when we remember the hundreds of transgender people who are killed every year as a result of prejudice, hatred and misunderstanding, hearing the stories of your friends struggles will give you a better perspective. <div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-5775513626091465822012-11-13T08:44:00.002-06:002012-11-13T08:44:49.244-06:00Bill O'Reilly Explains It All for You - The End of AmericaHyperbole is the stock and trade of most of the right-wing talking heads. Whatever they dislike is always catastrophic and disastrous. For example, "same-sex marriage will end traditional marriage as an institution". Let's look at that closer. Right now 9 states have same-sex marriage. Add to that the District of Columbia and you have 10 and yet in all those states opposite sex people continue to marry and divorce. Their families are unaffected by the gay and lesbian couples who have chosen to marry and life goes on.<br />
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So given the penchant for exaggeration it's no surprise that <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/13/bill-oreilly-far-left-dangerous-destroying-traditonal-america_n_2121320.html?ncid=txtlnkushpmg00000041" target="_blank">Bill O'Reilly has pronounced "traditional America" dead, or at least on life support</a>. His reasoning is that the "secular progressives" are bent on destroying the American way of life.<br />
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First off, he doesn't clearly define what this mythical traditional America is. He does go on to indict "secular progressives' as libertines who will gleefully abort fetuses and pass out drugs, but as to the traditions, he is silent.<br />
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My suspicion is the term "secular progressive" is a trial balloon. He and the other pundits are coordinating their efforts to find another boogieman to scare their viewers with. Apparently "the gays" are no longer effective enough. The fact that he calls Obama a "poster boy for secular progressives" gives me a clue to the new talking points for the right-wing.<br />
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What he fails to say by not giving examples of "traditional America" is that he really means 'white America". He blames the loss of the election on voters who want "free stuff" (that is code terms for welfare queens) and not on the GOP's inability to connect with the majority of the country.<br />
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Again, he is deferring the blame when it lies directly with him and his ilk. The far-right has alienated everyone but the most staunchly conservative, especially on social issues. It is a party of white men and the wives who slavishly follow their husbands political beliefs. It is a party of rich businessmen who manipulate politicians to their will. It is a party of people who watch too much Fox News and there is the root of the problem. It is a part out of touch with reality.<br />
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O'Reilly's vision of "traditional" America is a country that existed only for a few years in the 1950's. The "nuclear family" living in the suburbs. A time when white America prospered and everyone else was a second class citizen. Guess what? Not that way any more. It's time to adjust and embrace the diversity of our wonderful country or be left in the dust bin of history. I suspect O'Reilly will be quite at home there, amid the wreckage of the GOP he helped to destroy.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-22202806227391951242012-11-12T08:48:00.001-06:002012-11-12T08:48:36.269-06:00Why Mitt Romney Lost the Election?Today the Wall Street Journal, now a News Corp/Fox News clone bemoaned Romney's loss and explained it this way:<br />
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<a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324073504578105340729306074.html" target="_blank">"...lack of money earlier this year stalled his campaign."</a><br />
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This is one of the most self-serving excuses I have ever heard. Romney was awash in money from day one. His personal wealth could assure that he never ran low on funds, and for a media outlet to come up with this excuse sounds like a plea for more ad dollars. "Yes, just spend more, and much of it on advertising in our paper, and you will win next time."<br />
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What a bunch of malarkey!<br />
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Romney lost because he was not in touch with the changing American demographic. He lost despite millions and millions of dollars spent on unrelenting TV and newspaper ads. He lost because he is so unlike most American's the common man just couldn't connect with him.<br />
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The country is no longer a bunch of middle-aged white guys, it is a rainbow of races and sexes, and the GOP message doesn't work any more.<br />
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Mitt tried to get empathetic but ended up looking just plain pathetic. When he was at the Daytona 500, he tried to appeal to NASCAR fans by proclaiming that <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324073504578105340729306074.html" target="_blank">he had friends who owned NASCAR teams.</a> Here's the truth Mitt, that resonates with the 0.1% and not the rest of us poor suckers out here.<br />
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I could go on with gaff after gaff, but why bother. Mitt Romney will soon be back working with his dressage horses and his political career will be forgotten. Good riddance.<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10694745.post-61754861742492312252012-11-07T10:40:00.001-06:002012-11-07T10:40:13.796-06:00United States of Tokers?Colorado and Washington State both passed initiatives to legalize marijuana. This is pretty historic stuff since in other states the battle still rages over medicinal uses of the drug. Additionally, the federal government still considers pot a controlled substance and it's verboten in all 50 states, even for medical use, but some states chose to ignore that.<br />
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What I think is happening is that people are realizing that marijuana is no more dangerous than America's drug-of-choice, alcohol. In fact, it might be less dangerous since few if any deaths have occurred from pot-overdose unless you count the ensuing obesity from eating too many brownies.<br />
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The main barrier against pot becoming legal is the private sector. Private prisons, a growing phenomena, are filled to the rafters with people arrested for using or dealing marijuana, and without the criminalization of that drug they will lose money. I suspect law enforcement folks would welcome the decriminalization since it would free them up to do other things, and the gangs who deal the drug would suddenly become obsolete.<br />
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I am a tea-bottler and haven't used any mind altering substance, save caffeine since 1986, but I have lots of friends who do and as far as I can tell, few of them have become hardened criminals. I think the old saw about Marijuana being a gateway drug only holds true as long as users are forced underground. It may be time we reexamined our attitudes toward cannabis and found some middle ground. Meanwhile, if you live in Colorado or Washington, don't break out the bongs yet.<div class="blogger-post-footer">Dungeon Diary</div>Hardy Habermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04174845335420963277noreply@blogger.com0