In case you missed it, December 10 was UN Human Rights Day. It is something we as LGBT Americans should
take to heart.
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights is a wonderful
document. It is intended to assure freedom
and justice and a voice for all people. The United States along with 48 other
countries signed the declaration in 1948 and it has become the standard by
which human rights are judged.
One of the key provisions in this historic document is the
provision that the family is a “natural and fundamental group unit of society
and is entitled to protection by society and the State.” Interestingly enough,
the UN declined to give a definition of the term “family”. They did this because they saw as early as
1948 that families were defined in different ways by different cultures. They went on to specify that, ““in giving
full effect to the recognition of family in the context of (International
Covenant on Civil and Political Rights) article 23, it is important to accept
the concept of the various forms of family…”
In other words, our families are ours to define. For LGBT Americans that is really
important. Now that the Supreme Court is
taking up DOMA and the California Proposition 8 case, it means more than
ever.
The reality of same-sex marriage is this, until there is a
federal law that assures recognition of marriages from all states, same-sex or
not, a marriage license is pretty much just a nice piece of paper. The union and its rights will be good only in
the state where it was signed. In other words
your family may be OK is Washington State, but in Texas you are just a couple
of friends.
For family arrangements beyond the hetero-normative model,
it gets even more difficult. In the leather
community for example, there are lots of families consisting of 2-3 or more
individuals who are in a relationship with each other that they consider a
family. It is not unusual for a leather “Daddy” to
have a couple of “boys” in his or her household. (For the uninitiated the title of “Daddy” has nothing to do with
parenting. It is a role as well as an
honorific and it can apply to a man or woman.
Likewise, the idea of “boys” or “bois” or “girls” has nothing to do with
minors, these are roles assumed by leatherfolk and are terms of affection and
position within the leather family structure.)
These leather families are often as tight knit and valid as any blood-related
family and in many cases more so.
If the UN Declaration is to be believed, even these very
non-traditional families have a right to exist and be recognized, because the
reality of families in the US is this, only 20% of households consist of
married husbands and wives with children. The Norman Rockwall family unit is a myth, and
it is time we began understanding just how varied families in our country are.
Same-sex marriage will be a step toward this recognition,
but it will still leave millions of American’s out.
It will take a lot of work and a lot of education to fulfill
the goals of the UN Declaration in the 21st Century. It will take families of all types making
their case for recognition. It will be
uncomfortable for some people but if we are to take human rights seriously we
have to understand that all families, deserve respect and rights.
So next time you hear of the problems of human rights, don’t
automatically assume it is a third-world issue.
As LGBT Americans we still live as second class citizens who are denied
the right to form legally recognized families of our own.
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